Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and whether you celebrate the whole Happy Valentine’s Day thing or not, this day is fraught with mixed feelings. Some of us get all 🥰 mushy and lovey-dovey 🥰 on Valentine’s day. For those of us unpartnered whether by choice or fate, the hoopla surrounding this day may cause us to feel even more alone.
And for some people, it is just another day on the calendar. But did you know the origins of this day of chocolates, candy hearts, flowers, and cards started out very differently indeed?
According to Wikipedia
“Valentine’s Day, also called Saint Valentine’s Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine,[1] is celebrated annually on February 14.[2] It originated as a Christian feast day honoring one or two early Christian martyrs named Saint Valentine. Through later folk traditions, it has become a significant cultural, religious, and commercial celebration of romance and love in many regions of the world.[3]”
The article goes on to describe some events that are hardly going to make anyone feel all lovely. 😬
Eventually during the days of “courtly love” this day originally designed to honour the sacrifices of Christian martyrs became associated with the day of LURVE that we know here in the west.
“The 8th century Gelasian Sacramentary recorded the celebration of the Feast of Saint Valentine on February 14.[9][10] The day became associated with romantic love in the 14th and 15th centuries when notions of courtly love flourished, apparently by association with the “lovebirds” of early spring. In 18th-century England, it grew into an occasion in which couples expressed their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards, known as “valentines”. Valentine’s Day symbols that are used today include the heart-shaped outline, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid. Since the 19th century, handwritten valentines have given way to mass-produced greeting cards.[11] In Italy, Saint Valentine’s Keys are given to lovers “as a romantic symbol and an invitation to unlock the giver’s heart”, as well as to children to ward off epilepsy, called Saint Valentine’s Malady.[12] ” (Source- Wikipedia)
And did you know that there are traditions all over the planet associated with this day?
To name a few:
- In most Latin American countries Saint Valentine’s Day is known as Día de los Enamorados (‘Day of Lovers’)
- In Guatemala, it is known as Día del Cariño (‘Affection Day’).[]
- In Brazil, February 14 Valentine’s Day is not celebrated at all because it usually falls too little before or too little after the Brazilian Carnival
- In the United States Conversation hearts, candies with messages on them, are strongly associated with Valentine’s Day.
- In Chinese, Valentine’s Day is called the lovers’ festival
- In ancient India, there was a tradition of adoring Kamadeva, the lord of love, and today, some people celebrate Valentine’s day others do not.
- In fact, there is even a day after-the-day celebration for the unpaired known as “Singles Awareness Day (or Singles Appreciation Day)”
There are so many ways to celebrate Valentine’s day, or not, all over the planet, but you know what I am not seeing anywhere?
Happy ME day!
I propose there be a celebration of ME day for all the amazing people who have made that hard-fought and hard-won transition into a new life of sobriety. After all one of the first steps to recovery is rediscovering the ability to care for and love ourselves. So it seems fitting to me that celebrating you is entirely appropriate for this day, for every day really. But this is a grand excuse to buy yourself a small token of gratitude for all you have done for yourself.
For some, this will be the first Valentine’s day without the traditional trappings of a drink with a celebratory dinner. And while it might seem a bit strange at first, trust me, your loved one will be OVER the MOON with joy at your choice to stick to your sober strategy and may even forgo the bubbly with you.
Single? Still celebrate a Happy Valentine’s/ME day!
Of course, if you are single on Valentine’s day it can feel like the world is against your happiness, it is almost as if those of us who are unpaired are unworthy. And nothing can be further from the truth. In fact, we can teach the world to sing songs of self-worth.
Speaking as a single human, I can honestly say that the relationship I have built with myself as a strong single person is the strongest one I have ever enjoyed. We all need to have a strong relationship with ourselves to be at home in our own skin, and moreover, those of us on a journey of sobriety really need to know ourselves and love ourselves.
Set an objective to really embrace yourself, love, and who you are becoming, and forgive yourself so you can move forward.
I recently heard a wonderful quote by Emmanuel Acho about the importance of setting objectives over goals.
He said
“A goal– a goal is an end towards which energy is aimed. A goal– at best if you reach a goal, imagine what else you could have done. And at worst, if you don’t reach a goal, it will have a negative impact on your self-esteem and self-efficacy. So at best, a goal limits you from what you could have accomplished, and at worst it ruins and undermined your self-esteem and self-efficacy. So what should you do instead? Have an objective with no limitations. Because an objective is essentially energy put towards something.
Emmanuel Acho”
The takeaway this Valentine’s day is for you to celebrate YOURSELF and how far you have come. Remember to continue to set objectives with no limitations for yourself. You can move towards an objective with agility, sure there will be roadblocks and setbacks but you’ve got this.
Healing & transitioning into lifelong sobriety is a journey, but the destination is worth it.
If you or someone you care about is struggling with addiction right now all it takes is a call to 1-888-777-9972
Start the conversation with a member of our compassionate intake team. They will answer your questions and help facilitate a plan for recovery.
And remember, this Feb 14, take a day to remember how important YOU are today and every day.
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY 2 YOU!